Having ignored all jos from "that" client starting 2pm yesterday, I managed to bring up my christmas party mood. Yey!
80s, our party theme, wearing a costume wasn't really mandated. But having spoken with Flo, a day earlier, I decided to look for an 80s costume at home. "Katuwaan" lang and if anyone won best in costume, Fabo would give away his painting as a prize. Not bad really. ^_^
I found my mom's really old blue and purple blouse. It looked more like shoulder pads with a blouse, rather than the other way around. Holding up her shoulder padded blouse she said, "I can't believe I wore that." Haha.
My sister unearthed mom's gray fishnet stockings and I went around looking for long colored socks.
After trying all that on for the first time, I realized I was glad to have been in diapers during the 80s (haha). With all the colors, I got confused. It was like all the design and color-choosing skills that I have as an artist were all thrown away in a multi-colored garbage bag.
I didn't even know which sneakers to wear. It's a good thing my sister was there to help me choose. I was literally color blind.
At the party, we started dressing up at 6pm. I was a bit hesitant and embarassed walking around in the shoulder padded blouse and fishnets.
I am seriously thinking of not going to the party.
How can anyone think of having a great time, when you all know that tom, you'll be rushing for some stupid jo caused by a stupid client, who stupidly doesn't have foresight and drags everyone one else down with him.
And in 3 days, everything has to move. The bastard is still finding stupid revisions of previously sent jos. How the hell will it be done?
Not to mention, stupid regional clearances that chomp out at least half of your timetable to begin with.
This is one of the busiest christmas ever. And I'm not exactly inside a mall.
Seated at my desk (well, soon to be ex-desk; we'll be moving floors again next year) I was worriedly glancing at my to-do list. It was getting longer and longer, while the days til christmas got shorter and shorter. I'm wondering if I even get to finish half of the list before the holidays (mostly consisting of 75% work and 25% from my personal life. Argh. I suck. Real. Bad.)
Sigh. Ah well. I'll be leaving Manila anyway come christmas. Going to HK Disneyland for the first time. I heard they had snow there (at least during the parade) and a really nice 3D light show. Can't wait. I promised my sister I'd take her to Mongkok ^_^
I don't get high over fame. I won't even jack off on it (if I was a man).
I'm happy and thankful when it drops in for a visit. But I don't go out of the way looking for it. It's not even my motivation.
I like the curtains. I like it backstage, that's where the action is. Up there, in front of an audience, all facade, a play. Not real. You smile because they want you too. You do all the things they all want you to do, just because it's the right thing to do. And you do it for the sake of everyone. That's fame.
I don't need fame to boost me up. I get my high when the job's finished.
It's that moment when I can prop my foot up, rest and say to myself "well done."
After so many months of wasted bloggable memories, I am back.
I've been capriciously in and out of myself. Depressed? No. Not really...well, maybe a little bit. But not enough to push me over the edge. I think I might have been transferring that energy into anger and angst.
The past months brought me nothing but jaded thoughts about work, people and my life. Details that up to now still cloud up whenever I try to think about it. Nothing big, just lots of the small stuff that I have to go through everyday about everything. They're like ticks biting all over but not really causing anything BIG enough for me to worry about. Well, until the wound gets rubbed the wrong way. Until, it opens up. Until, it never heals. Until, that moment runs right smack into you.
I had that moment. For months.
But it's gone now...
it did leave marks, but mostly, it's gone.
I even acquired a new lifestyle after it. But that's another story to tell.